I have failed

This International Woman’s Day, I declare I am a feminist. But not the type you expect or want me to be.

As a girl, I was taught that boys have more privileges than girls in the name of protecting men’s honour. That when I grow up, I am second to my man, that I exist to be the wind beneath his wings. That I must always give selflessly as a mother. And I rebelled.

Then I grew up and became a woman. And I, and the world, expected me to be perfect. I am to be a sharp looking, full-time working CEO, wife to one, mother to two, daughter to 2, sister to 3, friend to many.. and to do it gracefully. I was so consumed with perfection. And I failed.

At 41, I have the courage to declare that I have failed to meet expectations, the world’s and mine. I am vulnerable. Sometimes needy. I am indecisive. Can be inconsistent. May break my promises, and possibly your heart. May drive you mad. May not be there for you when you need me. I might miss a zero or misplace a comma on a business proposal. Can push a man, a strong man, to his limits…

At 41, I learned the world, my world, is not ready for a woman who is treading an unconventional path. I am feared. Possibly resented. Blamed. Not respected. And that I am still figuring it out.

At 41, I understand, feel and live the harsh limitations the world puts on a woman. Especially a woman like me.

At 41, I know that the only voice I should listen to is that voice in my head. My compass. That often gets muted or lost in the noise. And that, often, I’m the only one who can’t hear it.

At 41, I learned that I am, just that… a woman. And that’s ok. More than ok.

At 41, I know what I want. I want to be happy. To be who I am. To be loved. Accepted. No, welcomed. For it. Because of it. In spite of it.

This International Women’s Day, at 41, I declare I am a feminist. But not the type you expect or want me to be.

Related posts:

Starting a business in India can be a complex process, involving several steps and various government agencies. In this blog post, we will provide a detailed overview of the process to register a…

I am a walking prayer a breathing hallelujah a blinking, speaking walking, talking manifestation of bruised knees. I am — Melinda, Sandra Faye, Linda Gal Annie May, Sue Ellen, and Ellie Louise…

Relationship Building is defined as a mutual affiliation or connection between individuals or groups of people or entities living or working together as a team. Relationships are built where there is…